Ghosts that crawl, jump, fly and walk

This being the seventh lunar month when ‘hungry ghosts’ roam the earth, our TV stations organise a fright fest as is their custom. Last week I saw I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. (Jennifer Love Hewitt was so young and thin then!) Last night I watched a Korean horror movie, Ghost Train. (I never watch horror movies at the cinema as I don’t believe in paying to get scared out of my wits.) Towards the end of the movie, one of the ghosts – a victim of a train crash – appeared in all its gory bloody countenance. She emerged from a pool of blood and crawled across the heroine who was lying prone on the floor. That was when it hit me.

Korean ghosts are like Japanese ghosts. They like to crawl. I saw a Japanese ghost crawling down the stairs like a blanched scorpion – if I’m not mistaken it was in the film Ju-On. That got me thinking about those Chinese vampire shows – they’re always sticking out their hands and jumping around comically. Reminds me of Energizer bunny, but instead of running around like that rabbit, Chinese vamps are hopping around. I’d like to suggest that the competitors of Energizer shoot an advertisement using a bunch of Chinese vampires. Of course the vampire which out-jumps the rest will be the vampire sporting the advertised battery.

Malay ghosts are flyers. They’re better than trapeze artists. For instance, the pontianak can fly from tree to tree. Of course flying isn’t restricted to Malays. This form of ‘transportation’ is also favoured by other races like the Chinese, English and others.

What about American ghosts? They walk about like normal folks. Sixth Sense comes to mind.

Korean and Japanese crawlers, Chinese jumpers, Malay flyers, American walkers… these are just based on the few horror films I’ve watched. Horror fans may disagree. Or they may have an even longer list to share. Thais, Filipinos, Indians etc. Speaking of Indians, it just struck me that I’ve never seen an Indian horror movie before. I do remember Shah Rukh Khan playing a ghost in a movie and if memory serves me right, it didn’t do too well at the box office. The Indian audience loves the standard Bollywood fare and ghosts just don’t cut it at all for them, even when played by King Khan. (Googled the movie. Paheli was more a love story than anything else.)

Driving into Klang River

The traffic situation is crazy in Klang. Since last August when roadworks were started at Persiaran Sultan Ibrahim near the old Chi Liung Plaza (which is newly refurbished and tenanted by Income Tax and CIMB), it has been utter mayhem.

I live in South Klang and my kids go to school in the north. Usually I take the Connaught Bridge route which will take me about 20 – 25 minutes. Nowadays the traffic volume along this route has increased because motorists flock here to avoid the congestion at Jambatan Kota.

I try to stay away from the Banting Road whenever possible but when I have to send no. 1 to college at Klang Parade, this is the more convenient route to use. During peak hours in the morning, the jam starts from Southern Park and it takes 20-30 minutes to inch across the bridge. It’s so maddening you’d want to drive into the Klang River in a fit of frustration. On days when no. 1′s class starts at 9.00 a.m, we have to leave the house just after eight in order to get to college on time. However, this past week a strange phenomenon occurred. The traffic flow was smooth at eight something in the morning!! There was no jam at Jambatan Kota!! Cue Twilight Zone music. How could that be? I’m guessing that motorists are so fed up they’ve used alternative routes such as the Connaught Bridge and the Kesas Highway for those heading towards Shah Alam and beyond.

But I’m not optimistic that the smooth traffic flow will last. One thing certain about traffic along Jambatan Kota is its unpredictability. Just the other day, we took this route at eleven-something in the morning. We thought we’d be able to cruise along but we were in for a nasty surprise. It took us an hour to get from home to Klang Parade! It’s enough to make us want to drive off the bridge into the Klang River. Fortunately Klang residents are a patient bunch; otherwise Klang River would’ve turned into a mass watery grave of frustrated motorists.

Our patience is growing thin though. The roadworks are scheduled to be completed December 2009 but before we could enjoy breezing through the bridge, I fear another traffic problem will arise. A new block of office buildings – Prima Klang Avenue (PKA) situated across the road from MPK and Dewan Hamzah is set to open its doors end 2008. As it is traffic is already congested both ways across the bridge. PKA ‘s location being a mere kilometre away from the bridge is going to exacerbate the nightmarish traffic. Motorists may as well drive off the bridge into the Klang River when this happens.

Klang River will truly become the dirtiest river in Malaysia then, not just because of the pollution but due to the number of dead motorists floating in it. Macabre imagination? Blame it on the traffic woes – it’s causing my brain to become haywire.

Postscript

To answer a query by Ilene as to what’s actually going on in Klang :

1. According to Star Metro on 4/8/08, the construction is to build a flyover to connect Jambatan Kota from the existing flyover above Persiaran Sultan Ibrahim.

2. As for the third bridge, I’d like to know what’s going on.  I remember reading newspaper reports that the third bridge has been approved and if I’m not mistaken, it’s supposed to be located somewhere near Jln Tepi Sungai.  Initially I assumed that the current roadworks at Persiaran Sultan Ibrahim is to build the third bridge but it ain’t so.  (How could the new bridge be located so close to the existing one, right?)  The third bridge was ‘approved’ under the BN government when Dr. Khir Toyo was Selangor MB.  Now that the Opposition is running Selangor, does that mean that the third bridge has been scrapped?  We need more than two bridges at the rate Klang is developing! Five is a nice number, but let’s not be too greedy.  A third one would be nice, thank you.

More traffic trouble is looming, and strangely it’s all centred near the Klang River.  A new mosque has been built near the Goldcourse Hotel.  It’s a beauty to behold but come Friday afternoons, I’ll run ten miles before I’d venture anywhere close to that area.