File it in the bin

I read this article in The Star on 25 November 2008. It paints a pretty grim picture of publishing in the West. We have it easy in Malaysia. We can send in unsolicited manuscripts straight to publishers and it’s relatively easy to be published. I found this article online at guardian.co.uk.

Most publishers no longer read unsolicited manuscripts – but that doesn’t stop writers sending them in. Aida Edemariam, who has rejected more submissions than she cares to remember, investigates

I will not be the only person who reacted with amusement to the news that HarperCollins has just launched a website that encourages would-be authors to upload sample chapters, which will then be judged not by professional editors, but by readers. Amusement at the company’s chutzpah, specifically – but amusement tempered with some sympathy, too.

In the mid-90s I did a five-month internship in New York at a magazine that published both long-form reportage and fiction. Mostly this meant that very American pastime of rigorous fact-checking (I will never forget calling up the bemused manager of the KFC in Giza and asking him to measure out the exact distance, in yards, between his establishment and the Sphinx’s nose) – but it also meant responsibility for reading the manuscripts sent in by hopeful writers, aka the slush pile. There were four of us unpaid minions, and whenever the pile got so high it wouldn’t stay up of its own accord we’d retire to the boardroom, divide the orange envelopes between us, and set to work.

It is a dispiriting business. Like everyone who has ever done this, we began in great hope. We would discover the next Tom Wolfe, the next John Cheever … but reality quickly set in. The vast majority of it is just bad. You start doubting your own judgment (particularly when the stuff that you do pass on to senior editors gets ignored, or immediately rejected), get distracted by prisoners who think it a good idea to include a picture of themselves with a gun pointed at the viewer (true story), and quite quickly find yourself reading the first two paragraphs, putting a pencil mark or something on page six (so the outraged author doesn’t post it back with a note pointing out that they can tell you haven’t read it), and slipping it into an SAE. Not without a mounting sense of guilt. 

Winner announcement – cover design contest

The moment you have been waiting for is here : drum roll please… The winner of the Eh Poh Nim book cover design contest is :

Michelle Ng from Klang!

Michelle will get acknowledgment in the book, Do You Wear Suspenders? – The Wordy Tales of Eh Poh Nim as well as RM100 book vouchers and an autographed copy of the book.

The reason for the delay was that my publisher wasn’t sure of going with the title Do You Wear Suspenders? I was on the edge of my seat for weeks when the decision was still pending. I really think this is a good title. None of the alternatives I suggested could hold up a candle to it.

I did say that there will be a random draw for three consolation prize winners. As the organizer, I’m going to exercise my right to alter this part of the contest. Don’t worry, there will still be three EPN books going out to participants. The only difference is that it won’t be a lucky draw. As the response was not that great, and three contestants (other than Michelle) really stood out with their entries, I’ve decided to award the consolation prizes to these three :

1. Kok : He was so enthusiastic he sent in plenty of ideas and helped me plug the contest at his blog.

2. Camlok : I like his idea about Eh Poh Nim remaining faceless. In fact I did use the bit about the underwear showing.

3. Sunnymloh : His suggestion is very Malaysian, but is not suitable for this book.

This is the winning idea from Michelle :

Use cartoon caricatures, with an old ang moh man wearing suspenders (the straps that hangs on to his trousers) and a young Malaysian man with suspenders (boxers). It would be cute if both had mickey mouse designs! Haha! One on each side, but have them both looking confused.

Have Eh Poh Nim caricature stand in between them in the center with a big grin/smirk on her face. The title of the book could be in her bubble thought on the top of the page. And on her t-shirt, or dress, or however you’re gonna dress her up, print VS on it.

However, I’m not taking this design wholesale. I’ve made some changes to it. When the design comes back from the illustrator, I’ll post it here.

Winners, please email your address to me at tehlydia@yahoo.com. Congratulations! And a big thank you to everyone who participated.

Vagaries of Vanity

Yvonne Lee has come up with her second book, Vanity Drive. It’s a short book – 181 pages which you can breeze through quickly in between bouts of chortle. If I were to provide an alternative title, it would be The Confessions of a Vain Woman. Yvonne doesn’t make apologies for being vain though. She writes, “No doubt, I’m a vain woman. I love preening over my face, hair and body.” She’s one brave woman.

After reading through the chapter I Shop, Therefore I Am, I began to see a similarity between Yvonne and Sophie Kinsella’s protagonist, Becky Bloomwood. Whilst Becky is the Shopaholic Extraordinaire, Yvonne is the Shopaholic on Rehab.

If your vanity quotient is high, you’ll find kinship with Yvonne. But even if you’re only a little vain, you’ll be able to identify with the issues she grapples with. Men who want to have a better understanding of what women go through to look beautiful will find enlightenment in Vanity Drive.

Yvonne Lee will be making an appearance in MPH Mid Valley this Sunday 23 November at 4.00-5.00 pm. If you want to catch her, make sure you be there. This is the only book signing event she has lined up.

You are invited…

Come for these interesting lessons to learn about the gospel of Judas, the lost tomb of Jesus and more.  I’ll be there.  Jumpa di sana!

Testing DVD #1 – Looks

A few weeks ago I got an email from Sue Tan of Samsung Malaysia. I met her at the Blogmob prize-giving where I won the Samsung i550 phone. She asked me if I would like to participate in their Product Test Drive program for the Samsung HDMI DVD Player, DVD-F1080. I shot back an email asking how long do I get to keep the player. “Forever,” she replied. Wahaha! I want! I want!

When I picked up the player, I asked Sue, “Can play pirated dvds or not?” “Can!” she said. Though I try not to buy pirated stuff, ahem, sometimes I borrow them from friends and relatives. I’ve heard of friends’ dvd players which were so high class they only play originals. I don’t want that type of classiness, thank you very much.

My first impression of the player was good. It was shiny black and sleek. And mighty small too – very portable. When I took it home, I weighed it without all the cables and what-not. Only 0.95 kg! The gross weight of the unit is 1.9 kg, about the same as a laptop. Size wise, it’s almost similar to our phone directory (the paper variety from Telekom). Not long after I picked up the player, I went to Genting Highlands for a Sunday School teachers’ planning session. I contemplated bringing along the player as I wanted to test it. But as our schedule was very tight, I finally decided against it. Besides I didn’t want to risk losing it as I have an obligation to blog about the player. I still haven’t got the chance to test it yet.

So far, all I’ve done is admire the beautiful and elegant player. I can hardly believe it’s mine. Thanks to Samsung Malaysia for letting me take part in the test drive program. More on the player later.

Toward or towards?

Encarta has the answer.  That’s why I’ve bookmarked this dictionary.  Not only is its pronunciation guide a gem but its notes on word usage is also priceless.

In U.S. English, toward is the usual form but in British English towards is more common. The same principle applies to afterward/afterwards and to some other adverbs of direction that end in -ward, for example, backward/backwards and outward/outwards. Upward, as in moved upward, and upwards, as in increases upwards of 10 percent, are also standard.

Note that related adjectives of direction always end in -ward, not -wards, as in a backward glance or an upward trend. The adverb forwards is a seldom used variant of forward in U.S. English, and the -wards spelling of it is never used as a standard U.S. English adjective.