Golden girl’s hard life

I was helping no. 4 revise Bahasa Malaysia for her first term exams. Some words she had learnt :

• anak tunggal (only child)
• anak emas (literal translation – golden child, favourite child)

“Are you anak emas?” I teased.

She nodded bashfully.  Indeed, being the youngest in the family has made her ‘golden’.  She piped up, “Surely anak tunggal is anak emas?” Yeap, she got that right. 

Later she asked, “Mummy, are you emak emas?”  Are you a golden mum? 

“Am I?” I asked.

She smiled and nodded. 

A couple of days earlier, out of the blue, she had declared, “I don’t want to be a woman.  It’s so hard.  Must give birth to babies, must cook, do housework and so many things.”

Well, dear, if you can afford it, you can employ a maid to cook and do housework.  But giving birth – that’s something you’ll have to do yourself.  (Unless surrogacy is something you believe in).

How to cry

Do You Wear Suspenders? The Wordy Tales of Eh Poh Nim is now out in book stores.  MPH is having a JIMAT campaign where all books storewide are going at 10% discount (15% for members)  from 18 to 22 February 2009.  Members get an additional 5% off from 18 to 20 February. 

Now that the announcement is out of the way, let’s get down to more cute things which come out of kids’ mouth. No. 3 was watching TV.  The actress in a Taiwanese soap was crying buckets of tears. 

He asked, I wonder how actors cry?  Do they use onions?

They have to think of sad things to make themselves cry, I said.

But how?  I cannot, he said.

That’s why not everyone can be actors, I said.

Speaking of acting, do watch out for the bookertisement for Do You Wear Suspenders?  A bunch of my friends put their acting talent to the test.  I have a small part too.  The trailer is finally done after hours of rehearsal, shooting, voice recording and editing BUT there’s some problem in uploading it into Youtube.  As soon as it’s up, you’ll get to see it here.

Fish that cuts

Yesterday I added thin strips of cuttle fish into ABC soup for extra flavour.

“The soup tastes funny,” no. 2 said.

I told her about the extra ingredient.  No. 4 quipped, “Don’t eat cutter fish.  It can cut your stomach.”

Bobby’s Booby

I haven’t told a children’s story for a long time.  No. 3 asked for a story and no. 4 insisted that it must be a new one.  She was holding on to her bolster, so I decided to use that in the story.

Once upon a time there was a very smelly bolster by the name of Booby.  His master, Bobby took him everywhere as he loved him very much.  One day Bobby took Booby to school with him.  (He’s in Year 1).   He pushed it into his school bag.  When he brought out his Mathematics book, Booby sprang out from the bag.  The boy beside him caught it and smelled it. 

“Eeeww… it’s so smelly,” he said.  Everybody laughed.  Then he threw the bolster to the girl behind and she threw it to the next person.  On and on they passed Booby around until a boy sitting by the window chucked it out the window. (This part is no. 4′s suggestion).  It landed in a fish pond. 

Bobby rushed down the stairs to rescue Booby.  He cried as he fished out the soaking bolster.  His teacher gave him a plastic bag to keep Booby.  When they went back to class, the teacher scolded the children for teasing Bobby and for throwing out the bolster.  She also told Bobby not to bring Booby to school again. 

“A bolster belongs in bed, not school,” she said.  “Understand?”

Everybody said, “Understand teacher,” and started laughing again, even Bobby.

When Bobby went home, his mother put Booby in the washing machine.  They hang him out to dry the next day when the sun was very hot.  *By afternoon, Booby was dry and he smelled nice and fresh.  Bobby was glad that his bolster landed in the fish pond after all.

*Alternative ending by no. 3 – By afternoon, Booby was burnt.  (Why, I asked.  Because it’s very hot.)

The end.

Blue black singer

We were on the way to dinner last night when the song Spider-Man came on the car stereo.

No. 4 asked, “Is the song by Michael Blue Black?”

“Blue Black?” I laughed.

“No, it’s not Blue Black. It’s Blue Bear,” she said.

Don’t be offended, Michael Buble. We like you very much. You’re so suave, cool and handsome and your voice glides like water over smooth porcelain.